Living on the coast, and especially at the end of a river that runs into the sea, I get to see the tides change firsthand every day.  The water is coming, standing still or going at any given time.

But it is never really “standing still”, is it? 

On the surface it looks calm and still, tranquil even, while, in reality, it is in transition between going here and going there.   I can imagine the water feeling the pressing forces from both sides closing in during that time, relentlessly sq...

 Ummmmm…. Nellie, what did you just ask me?

No, I don’t mean THAT, but I do want to see what “f word” you and the young women you lead are.

First, a quick history lesson.

Most of us have heard of “fight or flight”, right?  This is what I grew up learning in my most basic psych classes and even into higher level classes.  This term was coined by an American physiologist named Walter Cannon in the 1920’s.  This was the standard for over 50 years, but as studies were underway it was dis...

 Call me crazy, but I love watching a good nature documentary.  They are interesting, dramatic, full of action and there are always moments of awe and bewilderment.  But, let me just say that there are few things more wild and bewildering than a cruise ship Lido deck on spring break!  Last week I took one of my 17-year-old daughters on our mother/daughter trip, and it was an amazing time full of big laughs [anyone that knows Trinity, knows the humor that comes with her] and even bigger adventure...

Maybe it's just me, but probably not.

This one is vulnerable friends and written to the women out there, but also for the men.  I am ushering it out the publishing door and into the great big world with my heart on my sleeves.  But maybe, just maybe, you will relate, understand and even be able to communicate even just a little better next time because of what I am about to share.  If that’s true, I write this for you.

As a wife, a mom of four adolescent girls, a youth leader, a family c...

How to Talk to Someone Who Will Not See Truth Right Now

In the world there are as many variations of truth as there are perspectives it seems.  I was told once that there are always 3 truths at play when it comes to perspective and human relations.

1. Theirs
2. Yours
3. The non-emotional 3^rd party truth

This is one of the many reasons why I am so glad that I have a firm foundation in the ultimate truth in my life (John 14:6).  I floundered for 35 years on this planet trying to define and d...

Remember the Monster’s Inc. character, Roz, when she slowly grumbles, “Always watching” at the end of the movie with her pointed eyeglasses sitting intimidatingly on the bridge of her nose?  Yeah, well, this is the same with kids.  They are always watching. 

How many sitcoms have played off kids repeating the words adults say around them and get in trouble for it or, even closer to home, how many times have you gotten frustrated at your kids for having a reaction to something only to realize...

Even though the word “confidence” has roots all the way back to the 1300’s, when it meant trust and reliance on someone else, it shifted to more focus on self in the 1500’s. Then, in the last 60 or so years it has morphed again into a word emphasizing self-assurance, boldness and many times lack of compassion and grace with a big side of sass and stubbornness.

I love learning about the history of language.  It gives me perspective on the initial intent behind something when the first person ...

I will be the first to admit that I have not been great at this as a person in my own personal wellness journey or (gulp confession) even as a parent with my own kids sometimes.  Ironically, I help those not as close to me whom I mentor and guide in life best.  Why is that the case sometimes?  That is honestly an easy question to answer… because we have less emotions intertwined with our guidance for those not in our inner circle.  (PS- This is why mentoring, coaching, counseling and therapy can...

A few summers ago, my family and I were hiking in the Appalachian mountains.  It was fun, beautiful, serene even… except for my one daughter who really didn’t want to be there and somehow was the only one to acquire legit stinging nettle wounds that only reinforced her anti-everything adolescent mindset of the afternoon.  After stopping for a bite to eat and catching our breathe from a steep, off trail, climb my husband challenged us to, we got underway again.

With dogs running zig zag patte...

Parenting is hard.  When you have to say no to something they really want or yes to something they are dreading.  When natural and corrective consequences come and all you want to do is hug them and take it for them, but you know they will not build the strength life demands without these trials.  When their brain is under construction, and you seem to be speaking two different languages, when everything has to be an argument or when isolation and silence is deafening.

No parent I have ever ...