Stop Fooling Yourself! There is No Such Thing As Balance.
A quick search of the word “balance” gives this definition: “a state of equilibrium where forces are equal and opposed, resulting in stability”.
The interesting thing is that those opposing forces could be feathers butted up against one another or loaded dump trucks ramming one another with the same, but opposite, force. Either way results in, what looks like, “balance”, but they feel very different.
These past few weeks, after returning from a writing conference, battling a cold, my husband and daughter leaving on their father/daughter trip, big meetings, piling up deadlines, a drivers permit kid who needs hours, a steady state of drama from every which direction and responsibilities that are always staring me down… I am feeling more like the dump truck ramming kind of balancing act than a feather fight.
Sometimes every which way seems hard and hectic, doesn’t it? In the wake of striving for this elusive state of balance, however, a few things have occurred to me that I wanted to share...
- The world can easily encourage you place “balance” as an idol?
Ouch! Ugh… really? It is so frustrating when this one gets thrown at me from the Holy Spirit. I am prompted with the question, “Is this standing between me and God? If so, it is an idol that I need to get out of the way.”
Chances are that if I am asking the question, I already know the answer.
How many times have you heard the term “work/life balance” when someone is exhausted, feels like they are missing out on life somewhere or instructing other people on how to do better?
Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
If I am so focused on my Jenga game of life, where am I putting Him? Focus on the micro movements and not the sweeping macro ones. Life is constantly changing, which means there is no lasting balance. You need to adjust and readjust along the way.
- Balance is not achievable, only the act of balancing.
I have a balance board that I use while I work and workout sometimes. They are super fun, but something I notice is that even if I am seemingly “balanced”, I am still very actively balancing the whole time. My toes, feet, legs, glutes and core are always fighting the forces. Sometimes my arms even need to get involved for major wobbles. It is NOT a steady state no matter what it looks like on the outside.
In fact, everything in balance is always fighting forces. It is the nature of the world we live in. Look at all the contrasting forces in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 and Jesus himself even said in John 16:33, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world”.
There is a constant tug happening within us, among us and in the world we surround ourselves in that we have to counter and rebalance from.
- I can be safe and secure while I am balancing.
I used to be a worth chaser, and I won’t lie, I still find myself in those old patterns sometimes, especially lately in this season of life. But I can see how I have swapped out one idol for another sometimes with chasing balance and the lie that I will find peace when I finally perfect balance.
I, you, and we need to understand and teach that there is peace IN the journey, IN the chaos and not just at the end of it.
Matthew 11:28-30 says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”.
That is the peace I want and need. That peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil 4:7). I don’t need to understand how I get it, I only need to know who it is from and that it is available to me when I approach Him and give over my anxieties, to-do lists, burdens, worries and exhaustion. If we can teach the young women we love and lead this IN their first 6570 days, imagine the comfort she will have in the valleys and on the mountain tops to come.
Today I pray that you can approach Him and give Him the opportunity to direct your steps and make your path straight (Proverbs 3:5-6) instead of chasing the mirage of balance. Walk this journey with your daughter and the women you lead. Show her the way to Him and the peace He can give her even when things do not feel balanced.
