The Maturity of Joy

A heavy storm pounds your windshield as you try and make the next kid pick up, meeting or drop off.  You honestly don’t even remember.  The wipers do their best to keep up with the large dollops of rain, but they are no match.  You just need to see ahead to the next car and maybe, hopefully, the yellow and white lines that act as suggested guardrails at your sides. 

It is so easy to focus on the rain and what you are doing to dodge the storm that you forget about the purpose and gift of rain.  Trees getting much needed water, the earth being washed clean, and the animals being provided with a fresh drink are all far from your perspective.  Crops being irrigated, ecosystems balancing, and an ancient cycle being regenerated across the world again are no match for, your “gotta get there” focus. Your immediate “problem” conceals the possibility of even noticing joy.

Seeing and seeking joy is a learned grounding trait requiring practice and tuning, but if this isn’t demonstrated early (especially within the first 6570 days of life) it can be completely missed.  It is always there, as a gift waiting to be revealed, but we don't always see it.

Think of those vision puzzles popularized in the 1990’s.  The ones where your eyes have to focus through the image to see what lies beneath, not just on the surface.  My high school self laid on my mauve bedroom rug for hours one day training my eyes to see deeper and deeper until the beautiful underwater scene of dolphins, turtles and tropical fish came alive.  I was training my eyes so I could see beyond the blurry, fragmented surface to the true picture below.  Every time I did one after that it was easier and faster to see that hidden world because of my experience I was bringing in. 

First, discipline my eyes and then bring the training and skills to the next image I come across.  It is an upward spiral and this is the same for love and joy. (see the maturity of love installment of this series). 

Discipline to practice.

Google says that joy is a “feeling of great pleasure and happiness”, while the Bible says joy is an “internal state of being, rooted in one's relationship with God and not dependent on external circumstances”.  

Happiness is circumstantial and joy is rooted. 

Think of it this way… the weather is opportunity for happiness for a tree and the roots that stabilize, anchor and feed the botanical wonder are joy.  A tree does not stand tall and last tens, hundreds or even thousands of years because of the weather above the ground alone.  Not hardly.  The weather changes frequently, but strong roots grow steady and sure.  They can be relied on.

How can you lead your youth in joy?

A great question to start with for yourself and teach is,

“Am I a source of light in the room or am I someone that doesn’t bring any, or worse, steals other’s?” 

Be a source, which many times means helping others shine theirs.

I have a tattoo on my wrist that says

Believe in the Light

Be in the Light

Be the Light

Follow the Way

This is a “bracelet” around my wrist to always remind me how I got to where I am and when I feel lost, it shows me where I need to go next.  [Spoiler, it is usually that I need to go and spend some time IN the light whether that means in nature, in scripture, in worship or in the company of fellow Christians that I know have my back and can hold me lovingly accountable.]

Look at these scriptures,                  

Nehemiah 8:10: “for the joy of the Lord is your strength”

Philippians 4:13:”I can do all things through him who strengthens me”. 

Psalm 28:7: "The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped". 

Joy is strength and protection.  I have used this in my own life very recently when circumstances (the weather) were showing no signs of happiness and sunshine, but the rooted joy I know kept me upright, sometimes even just breath by breath.

I saw something the other day that said, “Before you ever held them, God looked at the story of their life and chose you to walk it beside them”. 

Wow!  Leading and loving children, yes… even difficult ones, is a holy assignment. 

A righteous quest.

Do you know the definition of a hero’s journey?  It is where a protagonist (that’s you, the hero) leaves their ordinary world to pursue a goal, face trials, and return transformed. This journey involves adventure, guidance from a mentor and will entail a series of challenges that lead to a climactic confrontation and a final reward, which can be physical or a form of wisdom.  

Remember that love endures all things, bears all things, hopes all things and believes all things. 

Demonstrate love and joy again and again.  Show them the way and ask questions when they are facing storms to help them see and seek joy.

There is nothing in this world that cannot be used for good in some way (Romans 8:28). 

Even Job found joy and we can all learn from his sufferings.

1 Timothy 1:4 says, "The prospect of the righteous is joy, but the hopes of the wicked come to nothing". 

Let’s seek joy, lead with joy and teach joy as we love and lead these kids into a strong and fruitful life beyond our doors.