How To Be IN Her Life Today!

“In order to be in her memories tomorrow, you have to be in her life today” 

- some very smart person I do not know

The entire life of your child is going to be precious, but in the 6570 it is not only precious, but we have a serious job to do and, to be honest, we don’t always feel up to the task.

When they are young it is more physically exhausting and then as they grow into adolescence it gets more mentally and emotionally exhausting, but always…. Yes…  exhausting.

Exhausting isn’t always bad though.  Olympians are exhausted.  Mountain climbers are exhausted and rescue teams are exhausted, but these are a good exhaustion because they are working toward a purpose with intention just like you.

You may have heard something like the quote above sometime in your parenting journey and you are like “I am RIGHT here! Doing ALL the things!  What do you mean I need to be IN her life?”.  This is a very “Martha” approach that so many parents can slip into because we have to do ALL the things in this go go go world! (I completely understand Martha by the way and completely resonate when Jesus corrects it too (luke 10:38-42))

Some of you may know that my dad passed away when I was really young.  I was less than a year old when he was in his accident actually, so I guess this has always been a big factor in my life.  None of us know what tomorrow will bring, so let’s make memories today.  Good, lasting, memories.

I want to run down a quick list of 5 ways to be IN your daughter’s life right now, so that when she is looking for guidance to go forward or looking backwards at memories you are right there as a sounding board, influence and smiling light (even if you are not right there)

So what do I want to be there for?

You want to be there to:

Celebrate

The celebrations are big!  You don’t want to miss them!  They are going to stand out in her brain as pillar events because they are new, exciting and emotional and you want to be cheering, praising and rooting her on right there with her in whatever way you can.

Commiserate

Life will not always be easy, in fact I would say there are more complicated moments than easy ones, so feel them with her.  “This stinks!” goes a long way.  Be open and vulnerable with her about your complications and pave the way for her to be open and honest with you about hers.  Give her the allowance to help you and be there for you just as you are there for her.  This is a great training ground for this.

Be Content & Connect

These are the sit on the couch in pj’s and watch a movie marathon, play a game, do a craft, fix a car, go on vacation, build new memories with new experiences and just spend time together moments.

Correct

This is a required part of parenting.  I know.  It is the stickiest, hardest, and most painful, but without it they can not become the best version of themselves.  They can’t even reach their most basic potential.  We have all seen “Jungle Book”, right?  This is what happens with no correction and being raised in the wild world out there.  This, or life suffocating entitlement from being enabled and getting everything you want without correction in your 6570.  It can go either way.  I heard a talk this weekend from a great speaker who said, “It is not your parents job to be your friend.  It is their job to guide you.”.  You can’t guide without correction my friends.  

Console

When the test doesn’t go well, when the drivers exam isn’t passed the first time, when she doesn’t make the team the first round or get the part in the play, be there and console.  This, unlike commiserate, is a one sided experience.  You are not going through this and all you can do is console her.  Let her know you get it and it will be ok and let her help guide you in the consolation she needs.  

These are 5 solid ways to be IN your child’s life now so you are in her memories tomorrow.  Sometimes you will hit all of these in just one day, or even an hour.  I had one of those hours this morning actually, but the point is that you show up in ways that matter.